FAIRHOPE, AL — A fictional Fairhope family has retained a seasonal brand consultant after learning that a neighbor’s jack-o’-lantern tested significantly better with local focus groups.

The family’s original pumpkin—a traditional triangle-eyed design carved at the kitchen table—received strong marks for warmth but failed to communicate a clear point of view.

“It was pleasant,” said imaginary consultant Blair Gourd, founder of Lantern & Positioning. “But pleasant is no longer enough in a crowded porch environment.”

Gourd’s firm was hired Tuesday to develop a more distinctive Halloween identity before trick-or-treaters arrive.

The engagement includes a mood board, competitive porch analysis, three carving concepts and a post-Halloween performance report measuring photographs per visitor.

The research was difficult to ignore

The decision followed an informal focus group conducted among twelve parents, eight children and one person who believed the study was about neighborhood lighting.

Participants viewed photographs of six local pumpkins and selected words they associated with each.

The neighbor’s design scored highly for confidence, restraint and emotional depth. The family’s pumpkin was most frequently described as “a pumpkin.”

“That was the wake-up call,” said fictional parent Meredith Hollow. “We did not spend an entire Saturday at a pumpkin patch to produce something category-generic.”

The family briefly considered adding eyebrows but was advised that the change could read as reactive.

Gourd instead recommended a complete repositioning built around the concept of approachable menace.

Every porch needs a story

The revised design features asymmetrical eyes, a subtle expression of concern and one intentionally imperfect tooth meant to signal authenticity.

Its candle has been replaced with a rechargeable amber light calibrated to look spontaneous.

The pumpkin will sit slightly off-center on the porch beside two smaller gourds whose purpose is to establish scale without competing for attention.

“Consumers need to understand the hierarchy immediately,” Gourd said. “This is the hero pumpkin. The others are supporting produce.”

The consultant also rewrote the family’s porch narrative.

What had been described as “some pumpkins and fake spiderweb” is now an exploration of childhood nostalgia, coastal darkness and the tension between abundance and lot coverage.

The fake spiderweb was removed after research showed it was obscuring the front elevation.

Competition intensifies

Other families have begun seeking professional help.

One household retained a lighting designer after its carved pumpkins disappeared in photographs taken from the sidewalk. Another commissioned a custom typeface for the words TAKE ONE, then replaced the candy bowl because it no longer aligned with the typography.

A third family declined to participate in what it called the commercialization of homemade seasonal expression.

Its porch now features seven hand-thrown ceramic pumpkins and a small plaque identifying the artist.

Children have remained largely unaware of the branding contest.

“I like the one that looks like it is throwing up pumpkin seeds,” said fictional nine-year-old Owen Pail when shown the focus-group winner.

Researchers had ranked that pumpkin last.

Launch night approaches

The Hollow family will unveil its redesigned jack-o’-lantern at 5:47 p.m., the exact moment Gourd says twilight will support both curb appeal and phone photography.

Guests are encouraged to experience the pumpkin organically, though a discreet mark on the walkway indicates the preferred viewing position.

The family has also prepared a backup pumpkin in case the first design attracts strong engagement but weak candy conversion.

Hollow said the process has restored the simple joy of Halloween.

“We wanted something that looked like our children carved it,” she said. “We just needed six adults and a research deck to get there.”

Across the street, the neighbor placed an uncarved pumpkin on the porch and went inside.

Gourd watched for several seconds.

“That level of confidence is concerning,” she said.